Baby boomers seem gifted with perpetual youth. But they are also people of passion. From the moment this generation arrived on this earth, they seemed to be bringing a mission and a different vision for society than had existed before. This sense of knowledge and of vision accounts for the incredible drive baby boomers have shown throughout their adult lives which have resulted in changes to society so profound that life in America today only faintly resembles how we lived in the 50s and 60s.

Each era of life has brought its own challenges to baby boomers. As parents, baby boomers were committed to having a different kind of relationship with their children. They are more hands on, participatory and interactive with children in a much greater way than generations before. In a very real way, baby boomers parents sought to be both parent and best friends to their children. The outcome has not always been positive but you do see a sense of family unity and emulation of parents in children of boomers that is even more committed than the family model of the past because baby boomers viewed parenting as a mission and job one of their lives.

As baby boomers move out of the parenting role, at least in terms of having youngsters at home, they now have an opportunity to define in their own terms what it means to be a grandparent. Becoming grandma and grandpa may be a bit difficult for a generation that has always fought the coming of aging and resisted even adulthood much less old age. But if baby boomers embrace the concept of being the kindly and wise old grandparent and filling that role in the lives of their children and grandchildren, they can have an influence on another generation beyond them to pass along their insights and guidance in ways that only grandparents can do.

Children see grandma and grandpa in a different light. Naturally they love them and love the opportunity to visit their grandparents if for no other reason than grandma always has cookies for them. But sitting on granddads knee and hearing his stories or just enjoying his love and teasing is part of growing up that children cherish long into their adult years. And it is a time that even baby boomers can embrace and thoroughly enjoy.

There was a great book out not long ago named “If I knew being a grandparent was this much fun, I would have done it first.” This amusing concept reflects that the joy of being grandpa and grandma to your children’s children is fulfilling in ways that even surpass the important role baby boomers had as parents. Children listen to their grandparents because they are wise and old and it gives them a sense of security to see that it’s possible to go through life successfully and still be full of life and fun even when old age is upon us. That is why children intuitively know that there are things grandparents know that they want to learn while on granddads lap and they cherish the lessons they are taught from a revered elder.

It’s good when baby boomers embrace this new role. Just as when boomers embraced parenthood, they threw themselves into the challenge with a passion that changed the definition of parenting for the better. So too, baby boomers can bring their passion, their sense of deep commitment and their love of family to the role of grandparent and give their grandchildren the gift of a wonderful grandma and grandpa who not only always had love and fun for them but also always seemed to know the right answer.

Look to your time with your grandkids as a time to pass along the wisdom that 50-60 years of life has given you. While children need the guidance and knowledge of their parents, the role of teacher, disciplinarian and rules maker sometimes clouds the parent relationship. That is why grandchildren are open to hearing what grandma or grandpa has to say because the relationship is more clear cut and they see their grandparents as fountains of wisdom always given in love.

Photo credit: bandini

Guest post by Kathy N. Johnson, PhD, CMC

If you’re one of the 20 million Americans squeezed between caring for children and your elder parents, you are part of what’s called the “Sandwich Generation”. According to the Pew Research Center, one out of every eight Americans, ages 40 to 60, is both raising a child and caring for at least one parent at home.

The New York Times reports that 53 percent of those in the Sandwich Generation feel forced to choose between being there for their children and being there for their ailing parents. Surprisingly, one in five say they make that choice every single day. And almost all of these people feel as if they are spread too thin.

So how do you survive the squeeze and keep your sanity? Here are several tips for family caregivers who find they are being pulled in two directions:

1) Organize paperwork – Make sure all legal documents for the older adults are in place and easily accessible. This includes a durable power of attorney, which allows a person to designate someone as the decision maker should the person become unable to do so. As important is a health care directive showing who will make medical decisions as well as an updated will.

2) Be realistic about what you can do – Don’t expect too much of yourself emotionally, physically or financially. All you can expect is that you will do the best you can under the circumstances. Remember that it is perfectly normal to feel that you are not doing enough or not meeting everyone’s needs.

3) Ask for help – Hire a caregiver from a reputable home care agency to give you a break from elderly loved ones for a few hours a week or on the weekends. Geriatric Care Managers can also help take some of pressure off. Contact family members, friends or relatives and seek out their help. You can also enlist community resources such as your local office on aging or local senior center. Ask for a referral to volunteers who work with seniors. Some hospitals or churches might also be of help.

4) Make time for yourself – Even if it’s just a ten minute walk around the block or a quick soak in the tub before bed, don’t lose touch with yourself. Find a special place or sanctuary where you can relax and focus on your own needs. Find a support network of friends and get involved in book groups or women’s groups so that you can talk to others about the daily life challenges you face.

5) Laughter is the best medicine – Keep a sense of humor about the situation and always try to look on the bright side of things.

Although the demands of caring for the very young and the very old at the same time are challenging, the Sandwich Generation caregivers often feel that giving care to those they love enhances the relationships with their dependent parents and relatives – not to mention, a sense of personal satisfaction.

Kathy N. Johnson, PhD, CMC, is a Certified Geriatric Care Manager and the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Home Care Assistance – North America’s leading provider of non-medical, in-home care for seniors. Dr. Johnson also co-authored the book, Happy to 102: The Best Kept Secrets to a Long and Happy Life, based on the ground breaking Okinawa Centenarian Study. Happy to 102 spells out precisely what it takes to delay or escape Alzheimer’s and other chronic diseases, as well as how to slow the aging process.